wild man-eating clam
You know that awesome scene from the “Opposite Day” episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob, posing as Squidward and trying to sell his Tiki house, tells the realtor, “The roof leaks… the floor creaks… there’s a wild man-eating clam in the backyard!”? Well, that’s pretty much how things have been with my house on Seward Place lately… it began with the discovery of a ninth housemate a few weeks ago: a little mouse, followed by the explosion of our upstairs toilet and its accompanying water bubble on our ceiling (and a giant puddle right outside the door to my room), and finally our most recent tragedies: the terrible malfunction of our washing machine and the discovery that a dangerous number of support beams in our basement are simply lying on the floor. Maybe that’s why the floor is slanted… Oh, and the foundation is crumbling! We may not have a man-eating clam in the backyard (in fact, one of Union’s maintenance workers lives behind us, conveniently!), but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was our next housing horror!