It’s hard to capture what my eyes are seeing. I feel like a newborn baby trying to take in the world for the first time.

I arrived to India on Thursday at about 6am, and waited outside the Jaipur airport for over an hour for my ride. I had no phone, no idea where I was, and hadn’t slept in over 24 hours.  At one point, a skinny mustached-man with a “welcome home” sign told me to get in his van. Being the only white person in sight, and his sign being in English, I followed. I soon realized he was taking me to the hospital and got out quickly.

With no idea what to do, I went over and bartered with a man to borrow his cellphone to make a phone call (for which I certainly overpaid). Somehow, about a half hour later, a small Indian man named Mukesh pointed at me and said “Davis.” If figured if he knew my name, he must be the guy. And so the adventure began – the adventure to Bagru.

The ride from Jaipur to Bagru is 45 minutes of pure absurdity. I use the word “absurd” carefully here, as many have used it to before describe India. I found myself constantly double-taking things passing by: donkeys carrying people, people carrying donkeys, roaming dogs, cows, and pigs, children bathing in sewers, no rules of the road, constant honking horns (they are more of a form of communication), and anything and everything carried on motorcycles.

I was immediately opened up to the fact that India is organized chaos. But the beauty is there, quietly hiding beneath the chaos, and that was what kept me grinning the entire way to Bagru.

Now, I have almost been here a week. I am living moment to moment; some are hard, difficult, and lonely – others lead me to joy, adventure, and curiosity. Since I am often alone, I find my mind wandering and thinking more than ever. In contrast, at school I was always surrounded by friends and academics to occupy my firing synapses. I never know what the next day, hour, or minute will bring. Now my best friend, and worst enemy, are my thoughts. At any given point I am thinking:

What’s next? Am I doing things right? Am I being respectful? When am I eating next?  Beer. There’s no beer. I feel good. Stay focused. Go with the people. Live with them. Learn from them. What’s my mom doing right now? I miss my mom. Wow, that smells funky. I like it. Is my heart racing? I’m sweaty. Still need to workout.  Hindi is a hard language. People are nice. I don’t understand anything. Anything. There’s a lizard on my ceiling staring at me. I wonder if he knows I am foreign. I must learn more about Hinduism. Pigs outside. Shh. Beautiful textiles.  Go do something.

And the thoughts continue. I am trying to pull away from the chaos and constant noise of my thoughts, and I think work is helping with that. As I learn more about Bagru Textiles, my thoughts have become more productive and satisfactory. I had my first skype with a client yesterday; slowly but surely I am pushing myself to find innovative ideas and contribute something positive to this business and community. As each day goes on, I am becoming more and more comfortable in a place that is far from normalcy and routine.  For now, I am taking it all in.