An Argument for Zombies

Jan 23 by

Nazi ZombiesYou’re in college. You have a ton of coursework, three club activities, and a meeting with your advisor. How do you avoid burning out halfway through the trimester? Zombies. Before you raise any objections, allow me to pontificate on the topic.

I’ve found that I only feel really refreshed if I can completely clear my head of my work and classes. Since zombies eat your brain, studies have shown that your ability to think overall will be mildly impeded. Also, unlike vampires, you won’t have the negative side effects of poor circulation and sparkling in sunlight. Another advantage is that a zombie apocalypse would be quick. You don’t have a lot of time in college to wait around for the infection to spread. Luckily, the spread of zombies would occur exponentially. Within a matter of days, you would have several specimens groaning at your door.  One final advantage is that you can even enjoy zombies on a gaming console. That is, if you aren’t man enough for the real deal.

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Xavier '16

Xavier Capaldi comes from a homestead in Northern Vermont where his family raises sheep, chickens, and rabbits. Xavier was homeschooled his entire life before college. He is majoring in physics and minoring in nanotechnology and math. At Union, Xavier is the co-chair of the Beuth Council. He also plays rugby on the club team and is a tutor in the Physics Help Center. He is known primarily for his ability to consume massive quantities of food during a meal. Xavier has participated in a variety of research projects including: the study of embryonic heart development, analysis of gas released during coffee bean roasting, and development of vanadium catalyst to neutralize chemical warfare agents on fabric.

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