Being home.

So I have found it extremely difficult to talk to my family about everything we’ve learned. I was hoping that they would share my anger and frustration when I described my experiences and the impact they’ve had on me. Unfortunately they just don’t seem to understand the way I wish they did. Their responses and opinions are similar to mine before the trip; they don’t seem to fully grasp the gravity of the situation in Southern LA and I’m still getting the response, “why bother rebuilding?” It’s difficult to convey my thoughts and personal experience with anyone who was not on the trip with us and I am fairly frustrated with trying to explain myself to them. Like we discussed in our last meeting, perhaps it is something everyone needs to experience for themselves.

I thought that at least some of my friends and family would be highly interested in what I learned (considering this was an actual course), especially after meeting Jane on the trip home. This woman sat next to me on our flight from Charlotte to Albany and was fully open into hearing what I had to say. She did not butt in or desperately try to fight my opinion. She asked several questions and ended up agreeing with my thoughts. It disappointed me to discover that my friends and family did not share this interest. So although I feel I should relay what I’ve learned to everyone I know, I find my response to “how was your trip?” being shortened to “incredible,” “fun,” “educational,” etc., or I simply talk about the fun aspects of the trip.

Although I am unable to share my true thoughts with my friends and family, I am thankful that I have personally experienced what this mini-term had to offer. I am also thankful that I have 19 people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to about what I’ve learned.

Final Thoughts

A week and a half has passed since our trip, which has given me time to reflect and share stories with friends and family. Jan forewarned the group that many of us might feel a disconnect from our home life or not feel satisfied when explaining to others what we experienced. I still struggle with the latter concept. I’m normally comfortable with settling back in from trips, even when I was abroad in Vietnam for 3 ½ months. I found it easy to get back into routine habits, but difficult to share how my trip went with those who inquired. While my immediate family was comforting, understanding, and well aware of Louisiana’s current condition, friends and relatives did not seem to fully grasp what I was explaining to them. It seems as though they wanted a quick, joyful story and not be bothered with real issues that Louisianans face. This became very frustrating the more people asked about the trip, because unless they probed further about the current situation (which fortunately some have), I felt reluctant to share my entire experience. On a more positive note.. I am so glad I was able to work in Ms. Barbara’s house in Dulac. She was a wonderful, light-hearted woman, who always had a smile on her face. Whether we sat down and made fun of a talk show before packing up for the day, or discussed her memories of the flooding, I enjoyed conversing with her. She had a very positive outlook on life, and did not seem to have dampened spirits by her situation, which was refreshing and showed a lot about her character.

I am currently applying for Teach for America, so I have been busy over break. After being on this trip I have seriously considered volunteer work based in New Orleans or Dulac, if I am not accepted into the program. With all the privileges most Union College students have received throughout their life, I think it would be great for many of us to give back to those less fortunate. As we discussed in our final session, we are all most likely volunteer oriented and have a similar mindset, so I think it is important to encourage our peers to experience the mini-term Union offers. Looking back on this trip, I’m glad we had to take a class and are required to write a research paper. While volunteer work is great, I think the combination between applied work and becoming educated about the issues really supplies us with the proper knowledge and experience to share with others. I am so grateful to have experienced a trip with such a great group of people. I’ll admit I had a few doubts on how well we would internalize the experience (before we left Union), but after listening to everyone during our group discussions in New Orleans and after we returned I am convinced we all took a lot away from this trip. Our group really seemed to get it, and every person had a unique and original perspective to add to our discussions. During these discussions individuals brought up aspects of the trip I had not thought of and encouraged me to further digest our experience. Others responses inspired me and reaffirmed feelings I had, which made me feel comfortable that I was not the only one contemplating various issues. It was a true delight to be on the trip with this crew.

I hope everyone is enjoying their last few days of break and spending lots of time with loved ones. I look forward to seeing y’all when we return!

After returning from Louisiana I can only look back at the experience in a positive light.  I must say that beyond meeting a lot of great new people, learning about the culture and history of New Orleans, and contribute to rehabing devastated houses, we, more importantly, all have returned feeling very appreciative of the lives that we have here. 

I think the hardest part of returning from the trip has been talking to other people.  I feel like I haven’t been able to really explain to family and friends the complete experience I had and how much it affected our group.  I can’t help but feel like the entire trip was meant to help us keep in mind more than just our isolated, priveleged lives, but to live with the realities we learned in Louisiana that exist in the world, even in the United States. 

I hope that after everything we experienced and learned through the program will stay with me beyond my years at Union.  Even if that doesn’t bring me back to New Orleans to provide community service, I want to be able to use what I’ve learned in whatever I do in my life.   

Post-Trip Thoughts

During our post-trip discussion we talked extensively about how we might respond to friends and family asking about our trip.  I’m finding that it was much easier to talk about this hypothetically with our group than it is to actually explain to people at home.  Part of the reason is that most of my friends from home are really looking for a sound-byte, not a lengthy conversation, when they ask “How was your trip?”.  In general, I would say that’s okay by me, and I don’t really blame them for their lack of genuine interest.  Except, now that I’ve been down there, I feel a sense of obligation to relay my experience.  We were certainly emplored to do so by some of our hosts, so I figure, its the least any of us can do.  With that in mind, I’m definitely trying to give anyone who will listen as complete a story of the situation in NOLA and Southern Louisiana as I can muster.  For example, I’ve found myself opening conversations describing NOLA as an awesome city, where some people are being screwed plain and simple.  While I do believe this to be true, it is certainly not the entire story.  Truthfully, it doesn’t even scratch the surface.  However, I think the shock value has worked to get people asking more questions.

However, even when people are interested and willing to listen, the task is not an easy one.  Another reason why its so difficult to discuss my experience with people at home is that there are so many interconnected and delicate issues surrounding the recovery efforts (wetlands loss, government efficiency/corruption, race, economic status, etc.) that its difficult to know where to begin.  Especially, when most people don’t have the first clue about any of these issues, never mind the overall situation in the area.  I think this is another example of something you can’t really blame on your audience.  I was just as ignorant before the trip.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating when someone says “Why bother rebuilding NOLA?”, or “Isn’t it sinking anyway?”.

Another thing that struck me regarding my conversations with people at home was the level of interest and general knowledge regarding NOLA/Katrina/Rita versus Dulac/Ike/Gustav.   It seems like everyone asks about Katrina and New Orleans, in disbelief that the city isn’t back to 100% of where it’s going to be over 3 years later.  While on the other hand, the damage caused by Ike and Gustav in bayou country is barely mentioned, despite the fact that these storms occurred a few short months ago.  Yet another case of blameless ignorance.  This common theme is really frustrating, when you’re the person who is charged with getting the word out.

sense of urgency

In the reflection session after the trip, Jasmine mentioned the lack of sense of urgency in Dulac people. They move slowly. They don’t care how much things are done. But they smile all the time.
When I came back to Union College, the first thoughts popping up my head was “I have many things to do from now on!” I had to write a bunch of applications, work on my research for this trip, prepare for an interview, etc. I stress due to time passing my college life. I don’t have time to think of other people as much as the Houma in Dulac. In college, we always have deadlines, exams and assignments. Our lives move depending on the clock.

My interpretation about the different attitude toward time is that because Dulac people aren’t often busy, they have time to spend with family, friends and communities. Their lack of sense of urgency creats their strong sense of community.  And the connections among people give smiles on their faces, I think.

Returning home…

I can honestly say that I am having a difficult time adjusting to my life at home after spending two weeks in Louisiana.  Prior to my return to Connecticut, I met up with a friend from Union who lives near Schenectady.  My friend had just returned from a trip to Ecuador, and so we spent the majority of our time together discussing our experiences away from home.  After my friend told me about amazing  sights he had seen and the parties he went to, I had a tough time articulating what I had gained from my own trip.  I felt that our experiences were so vastly different that he was unable to comprehend the transformation I have gone through.  I cannot yet put into words how I felt when Jim brought us to where the levees broke in the Lower Ninth Ward, when I first gazed at the empty lots that were once people’s homes.  I also do not know how to describe my emotional response I had when I discovered that the family we worked for in Dulac had been living in their damaged trailer since Hurricane Katrina hit.  I was glad I got to see my friend, but I could not help but feel disappointed about how superficial our conversation felt.  My hope is that once I gain a better idea about the ways in which my experiences in Louisiana have influenced me, I will be able to convey my feelings to others.Although I have not yet fully processed what it means to be privileged, I am beginning to understand the social responsibility I have to advocate for people who do not have their voices heard.  Despite the challenges that the trip has presented, I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to develop connection with such an amazing group of people and I will carry the memories with me for the rest of my life.

Back Home

To no surprise, I’m still very much consumed by the trip. I find myself thinking about New Orleans and Dulac very often. I’ve gotten to tell my family a lot about the trip and found I could go on and on in trying to paint a clear picture of what it’s like in Southern Louisiana. I didn’t realize how much I learned until I began explaining my experience and detailing all the facts I’ve absorbed since the start of the miniterm.

Being back in New Jersey, I can already tell I’m a little bit different – or at least my thought processes are (is there a difference?). First, I can’t describe how thankful I am for my family, my friends, and my home. Although I have always felt privileged, this trip has deepened my appreciation for everything in my life. Since my return to Warren, I’ve been stopping to think about how grateful I am to being able to do (what I previously considered) the most basic things. With that, I feel somewhat guilty that I had taken these opportunities and abilities for granted, and that I am returning home to luxuries that many others have never known.

It’s also frustrating to think that so many others take what they have for granted. For instance, last night I was considering the types of children I have been a camp counselor for in the past couple of summers. I remembered how some of them were so ungrateful for what they have and for what people do for them…the way they demanded things without being trained to even say “thank you.” They couldn’t care less about things that underprivileged children would go crazy for. (Of course, this is a generalization that doesn’t apply to all of my campers.) They won’t know until they’re older how safe their lives have been, and how amazing their childhoods are. With the exposure and experience that comes with growing up (furthered by opportunities like service learning) I feel so fortunate for my own childhood and for the life I live.

I thought about my campers when Jenny came to talk to us about her work with City Year, and the terrible things that some of her students in New Orleans have experienced. I’m so glad that my campers and other children I know have not been exposed to any of the horrors that Jenny’s students have unfortunately come to know. I really admire Jenny’s work, and I know I want to continue volunteering with children at home, in Schenectady, and/or in New Orleans.  On that note, I feel a bit incomplete and know that my work in New Orleans/Dulac is not done. I already want to go back.. 

I’ve had a really hard time explaining my trip to my friends. Parts of the trip were very fun, while other parts were difficult. We were tourists enjoying ourselves, while realizing more fully the troublesome realities that challenge the region. I feel like I can’t convey my total experience well. I still think some of my friends assume the trip a vacation in which we happened to do some physical labor. Therefore, I try to express how much work still needs to be done in New Orleans and in the wetlands. Maybe the pictures they see will help to give them a better idea of what the trip was like…they can see our group having a good time in the French Quarter, but also see our worksites and pictures of Dulac. I don’t know. I know there is still a lot of processing to be done. I’m definitely very grateful to have had such a great experience.

I hope everyone is enjoying their time at home! Happy Holidays!

Home

Upon my return to South Hadley, MA, I have been almost overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Part of me is happy to be home in perfect timing for the holiday season and the other part is already missing Louisiana. While adjusting to home life again, it has been hard for me to be like I used to. With reflection and much thought I have realized that I am different. From New Orleans and Dulac, I have gained patience, overall appreciation, and some guilt as well. As we approach the holidays, it is kind of hard for me to accept and be ok with how luxurious my life is compared to those in southern Louisiana. I have come to understand and appreciate more foundational things in life. Such things include my family, our ability to live with some luxuries, and most of all my home. After spending much time rebuilding and in some groups, gutting houses, my sense of home has gotten quite stronger.

I have so many thoughts still lingering in my head, of which I am still trying to piece together and find their personal meanings. It has helped me to reread my journal and look and explain to others the pictures and their significance. At the same time, it has also been very hard for me to explain to others my experience. I find it especially difficult when it is just a short conversation, for instance I saw a family friend and in a brief conversation they asked how the trip was. It was too hard for me to come up with a few words to explain the experience. I felt that I needed at least twenty minutes or so to even get my thoughts and stories across. After talking with more and more people, I am finally getting better at using strong enough words to show the emotional connection I made while in Louisiana.

Returning Home

After being home for two days I would have thought that I would have been completely back into my usual routine but it feels different being home than any other break. My mind is still very much in Dulac rather than in Ossining. I miss all the people from the trip and everything that we saw and did in both Dulac and New Orleans. It’s so hard to explain to everyone here, especially my family, why I’m not overjoyed to be home and why I’m not my usual self. I am also finding it very difficult to answer the ever-present question of “How was it?!?” I want to say “Great!” but at the same time it was so much more than that. For me it was a mix of fun and sad and memorable and frustrating and so many other things all rolled into one. I’m not sure that there are any accurate words to descirbe the whole experience. Being able to talk with the group before we left for home and then Arielle and Katie in the car has helped because I know that they all understand what I’m trying to say since they are all in relatively the same place as me. Hopefully as I see more friends and family I’ll find a more accurate way to describe my trip that explains both the happy and the sad aspects of the experience.

I think the hardest moment  I’ve encountered while being home was when I went to the mall today. I was walking around by myself in the heat of holiday shoppping season and the ignorance of everyone around me and the excess of spending that accompanies this season in contrast with the devesation in Dulac, and all the other rural Gulf state fishing towns, was really hard to accept. Yet there isn’t anything that I can really do to change the self-centered frenzy and attitude of my fellow shoppers. It made me want to scream and I eventually had to leave becuase I just couldn’t take it anymore. I hope that everyone on the trip is able to have a happy holidays and enjoy being with their families and I can’t wait to see you back at Union in a few weeks!

post-trip thoughts

Where do I begin? There is so much to say. The actual work we did on each home was great and we should all feel proud of our hard work. I think the people were very appreciative and even if some weren’t, we shouldn’t let it bother us.

While driving down the streets in my town, I can’t help to compare the two sights: Dulac and South Orange. These places are diametrically opposed in almost all aspects. This comparison makes me want to go back, I miss New Orleans and Dulac. I have not been able to clear my head of some of the disturbing images of New Orleans and Dulac but that is a good thing. The experience had an impact on me like no other. It is hard to explain the trip to family and friends at home because I feel that you really have to be there to understand it. Words alone can’t accurately describe it. 

Our debriefing session was very effective and helped identify some of the important meanings of the past two weeks. The two that stuck with me were: with great privilege comes great responsibility and our primary responsibility is to cultivate empathy. Even though we may not be able to physically do something to help the situation in New Orleans or Dulac we can start helping by keeping their stories alive by sharing them with others;  however. like I said above, it’s hard to do so. I guess we just have share our experience eagerly with others to the point where we make them aware and hopefully they will start looking into the problems both places face on their own.

As of right now, I have no idea how this trip is going to impact me in the future but I can assure you the experience will stick with me. The group was amazing. It was truly a pleasure to work with everyone and get to know new faces. I hope everyone has a happy holiday season and we keep the people of New Orleans, Dulac and anywhere else that suffers from poverty and destruction in our thoughts during this time of love and joy.