Being home doesn’t feel like I expected it would. I expected to feel comfort in being around my own things. Instead it felt lonely. I guess it would have felt different if I went home instead of going back to my empty dorm room back on campus. I have to admit having 16 other people around might have been the best thing for me. Growing up as an only child I never was accustomed to being teased or having to share almost everything with any one. To be honest I miss the group which I thought I might but never this much. I find myself watching Saint games, looking at pictures and videos reminiscing on an experience that just concluded. Going out in Schenectady to meet up with my co-workers was a bit of an experience. Some had actually noticed that I was missing and others didn’t care. The same thing happened when I returned from Australia exactly one year before. It really puts the significance that you might think you have into a real context which can be quite painful if the doses aren’t administered slowly or in small increments. When not in the glass half empty mindset I would say that it felt nice and easy to get used to my bed and my computer (all the selfish mine mine mine things). The hardest and saddest things were the loneliness that is associated with not being home for the holidays. The most surprising thing about coming back is the amount of physical and personal growth that had occurred in just 2 weeks. I now know my way around dry wall and other matters of house construction as well as having the ability to start to grow comfortable with all the sides of myself. Next time someone says “Who dat?” I’ll be able to give them a better and honest response of who I am.
This was an amazing experience that will continue to have an affect on me for years to come.