Being home doesn’t feel like I expected it would. I expected to feel comfort in being around my own things. Instead it felt lonely. I guess it would have felt different if I went home instead of going back to my empty dorm room back on campus. I have to admit having 16 other people around might have been the best thing for me. Growing up as an only child I never was accustomed to being teased or having to share almost everything with any one. To be honest I miss the group which I thought I might but never this much. I find myself watching Saint games, looking at pictures and videos reminiscing on an experience that just concluded. Going out in Schenectady to meet up with my co-workers was a bit of an experience. Some had actually noticed that I was missing and others didn’t care. The same thing happened when I returned from Australia exactly one year before. It really puts the significance that you might think you have into a real context which can be quite painful if the doses aren’t administered slowly or in small increments. When not in the glass half empty mindset I would say that it felt nice and easy to get used to my bed and my computer (all the selfish mine mine mine things). The hardest and saddest things were the loneliness that is associated with not being home for the holidays. The most surprising thing about coming back is the amount of physical and personal growth that had occurred in just 2 weeks. I now know my way around dry wall and other matters of house construction as well as having the ability to start to grow comfortable with all the sides of myself. Next time someone says “Who dat?” I’ll be able to give them a better and honest response of who I am.
This was an amazing experience that will continue to have an affect on me for years to come.

Today is the last day in Dulac, LA. We have been hitting a ton of rough patches both in terms of personal issues and the logistics of the community service in the bayou. This trip has really had a powerful impact on me and my views on society, government, and most importantly myself. The journey has showed me both my strengths and my weaknesses. I came on this trip with the intentions on making a difference to those in need without ever considering the affect this interaction would have on myself. In the end I have realized that I am a part of something much bigger than myself and should feel privileged even when times are hard because there are people making it in the world on less resources than I. This has truly been a humbling experience that I will treasure. The good, the bad, and the ugly have all accumulated to give me an adventure that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The system in NOLA is one that must be looked at realistically and analyzed with an understanding of the living conditions of its citizens. The monsters in NOLA aren’t the people or police but the culture and mentality of these individuals. Some of the police are corrupt individuals who follow the truths of the all mighty dollar rather than serving to preserve justice and peace. The city council members are monsters who will do anything and everything to build themselves up while leaving the communities that they “represent” to wither away to relics of their former selves. Even the churches, which are supposed to build up communities, segregate the locals and force them to choose ways in which to diverge from the whole. This is the real picture of NOLA. The children, in the 9th ward, are allowed to run the streets without any supervision or guidance from the “adults” in the neighborhood. These factors in addition to the storm are what has crippled NOLA and caused it to be a city filled with all the negatives that we try to strive to avoid. Although the situation is bleak there might be a glimmer of hope in the future.

There are people in NOLA that do care and want to see a society in which people respect and CARE about one another. These small signs of change have had an amazing impact on me and my journey on this trip. I was concerned about how this day would go especially since I have titles picked out before the day even starts. I was thinking “Monster” what am I going to learn today or right about that will pertain to the song title. My inspiration came in the form of a gay African American male that taught in Harlem and has since relocated to NOLA to start the our school blair grocery. He really gave a tangible entity to the conditions under which the poor live in the 9th ward. The idea that we, even as volunteers, could be monsters was something that was addressed and was shocking. As much as we want to do “good” do we actually take time to understand what that good is. Although, building a house made us all free great about our accomplishment and knowing that someone would have a home for the holidays is amazing we never considered the after affect. We are building houses and not a community. The houses that we construct might not even go to the people who truly deserve them. Since the storm housing in NOLA has quadrupled leaving the poor, mostly black, with no where to return to due to financial constraints. This in addition to the lack of good hospitals like Charity and medical personal NOLA is in a downward spiral. The Monster is the system in which we live and give power. The poor get poorer and the rich accumulate more wealth. The middle ground is starting to get larger and larger while the middle class gets smaller and smaller. Times must change and we as a society need to respect the culture of caring which is over over looked.

After yesterday’s restful day of bowling and touring Tulane’s gra school it was back to normal work grind. Heading to the work site was anything but usual today because although the roads hadn’t changed we had. We also knew that this was our last day working on something that was more than a project or just a chore. In addition to the change in our perspective we were also changed because we knew that we were gonna meet dem saints. We got to work and had a small debriefing followed by getting down to business which was slightly interrupted by the camera crews asking us for permission to be filmed. It felt like the Real World New Orleans. We had to work as if the camera wasn’t around which was quite difficult because they would get in the way and then ask for us to redo jobs for the video lol. Soon enough it was almost time to leave when all of a sudden this super clean BENZ rolls up with black 22 inch rims and tinted glass. I was more pleased with the car then the subsequent events. So #41 Harper of the New Orleans Saints hops our the car and his “PR” person hops out his SUV. He sign shirts, papers, anything. As a crowd begins to form the next door neighbor comes outside yelling “WHO DAT?” Most of us were so excited about the football player in our midst that we neglected to respond. She then goes “I know ya’ll heard me say WHO DAT?” and one of us responds a saint. I have never seen some one boogie so fast and get dressed. With the cameras flashing and the “celebrity in our presence I could really see how Kanye West must feel lol. All of the lights was definitely the theme o the day which was followed by a jazz show in the french quarters.

Today we learned the great power of communication, teamwork and reflection. Last night we were able to go out to Bourbon street and walk around the french quarter which is an experience that everyone should have. We are truly a group that functions as a family with all the pros and cons attributed to such a characteristic. In the end all was well and we made it home safe. I’m saving the dirty little secrets of the night fpr myself wahahahaha. As for today, the morning was quite cold but decent considering we are from the northeast where it has already snowed. We went to work to discover a car accident near our house. This was both startling and powerful. Seeing the americorp volunteers that we work with running to aid those in need really showed the power of the human spirit and just common decency. The day progressed as usual the DREAM TEAM was amazing, had lunch but this time the location changed. The local church does free meals on Wednesdays from 12-2 and some of the locals invited us to go with them. The meal consisted of white rice, beans, hamhock, salad and bread. It was really cool to do this. We then headed home and got to talk to a powerful speaker. He addressed many of the issues that we as a campus community generally do not talk about. The ideas of racism and sexism were discussed in a way that made us all really analyze the issues. Although I now feel more uneasy about attending Tulane fro graduate school I know know my opposition. The idea of not being at ease in my own neighborhood and wondering when and where I an going to be stopped by the police due to my skin color has me weary of such a vibrant location for higher education. The idea of power and the rest of the themes I hope to address in my blogs come from the new CD by Kanye West. His song “Power” which addresses responsibility and power in the pop culture can be directly applied to the Police of NOLA. They have been granted this pass to do whatever they please. The question now is how will they handle such a gift or curse. As of now they have not handled it well which leaves me feeling as if the pressures that come along with being a Black Male will never end. I have fought so many battles and I’m still here but how much longer can I fight. When will enough be enough and I will no longer have to think about what area I am walking in, who I fall in love with etc. Once again my class has amazed me in this Dark Fantasy known as New Orleans.

Talk about a powerful day.

Today was an amazing day not only because of the warm southern weather but because of the moments that occurred in the Mid-City neighborhood of NOLA. We had a chance to meet the person that used to live in the house that we were reconstructing. The owner is a military man that has traveled all over the work in the US ARMY. He was full of jokes and laughs. He also showed a real appreciation for the work that we were doing. I am starting to realize that people here only like us “community service tourist.” The day continued to be quite successful for the DREAM TEAM aka TEAM SUPREME that consists of Shabana, Kristin, and myself. We once again were able to be really productive. The night continued to be just as special as the day that proceeded it. We had the pleasure of meeting a Professor from UNO. She had a lot to say about race, class, and society all topics that I am really interested in. She spoke about the dynamics of a city that was in the midst of trouble that no one realized or paid attention to until the storm surge made the story that had been buried was resurfaced. Hearing a middle class Caucasian women discuss topics that are frequently addressed in neighborhood barber shops and in the homes of most minorities was a refreshing experience. Seeing the class reaction to all the things said gives me hope for the future and says that we are far from where we need to be but on our way.

The journey has officially began and all I can say is “Who Dat?” The day started off quite cool. I would almost say it was down right cold as Ice in the early morning of our church residence. Once my contacts were taken from there solution bath and replaced in the windows to my soul I navigated my way to the kitchen. Talk about a fest-HBO and 1% milk. This was followed by a sandwich train and resulted in a new combination-hummus, turkey, cheese and roast beef. It was so amazing that I might need to copyright its proportions. Next came the journey to PNOLA, an amazing organization with just 2 full time staff, where we learned from a former Minnesota girl about building houses for New Orleanians. We then split up again and headed to our respective work sites. I was blessed with the privilege of working with some of the taller students in the group which resulted in making us more efficient at sheet rocking the ceiling. I must also admit the the students who lacked the height advantage definitely added to the group dynamic by just being ever so helpful and cool and funny. We learned how to insulate a house and survive in a room filled with Sheetrock debris and fiberglass from the insulation instillation. What a great lesson to learn LOL. This steep learning curve was followed by an exciting lunch with great AmeriCorp volunteers from Kentucky, Illinois, and Long Island (Notice that I put the location from NY on the same level as a state). Had a great discussion about things ranging from Public Health School, GREs, Future Plans, Majors, and expectations for future outings. Best First Day Ever.

Could have only been better if I wasn’t missing something or someone.

Heading to the south usually means that I am heading home to Dallas, TX and about to enjoy the relaxation that only comes when one sleeps in his or her own bed. This journey is different not only because I will be landing about 520 miles east of home but because I am going home with the agenda to benefit the lives of others that I have never met before. I am a person that can handle all sorts of situations and people and I am starting to feel, uncharacteristically, nervous. I have had both the pleasure and regret of interacting with citizens from New Orleans both before and after the hurricane struck. Reflecting upon these past experiences only adds to the jitters that I feel as I toss and turn around at night thinking about the next two weeks. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel because I am excited about absorbing the unique culture that New Orleans contains. I am curious to see how all of the groups type “A” personalities interact when we leave the familiar grounds of Union and head to the big easy/bayous. One of the things I am relieved about is the fact that I will be able to scout out grad schools while in the NO and will have music to help me “wade through the water.”